My second beer of the evening is a juggernaut, a legend amongst the beer-swillers of the world: Chimay Blue Grande Reserve. It all started in 1862, when a cadre of Trappist monks decided that they could not subsist on prayers and self-flagellation alone. The intrepid Belgians took to brewing, and traded in cries of “Alms for the poor” for “It’ll get Ye DRUNK!”

For these past 145 years, these monks clearly poured their souls and pent-up sexual frustration into their work. The Chimay Blue Grande Reserve represents the ultimate expression of the monk’s feverish wet dreams, and the result is a yeast-infused freight train of a beer.

Yeoman, be careful with the initial pour. Unlike the monks themselves, your trusty bierstein will receive copious and glorious amounts of head. Even a typically gentle pour will result in half a glass of spongy man-foam. Fortunate, any such porous pour will leave the drinker tasting hints of a rich and complex yeasty brew, not the typical watered-down flaccid fountain from a typical and tired domestic beer. The hues are all rich chocolate and black velvet, topped with a snowy, Alpine crown.

The taste itself deserve nothing less that fanatical religious exultation, delivering a bold finish, yet remarkable refinement compared to the Chimay Red appellation. In summary, if you’ve never experience the joys of a Belgian Abbey Ale, pick up 750ml of Chimay Blue, and rejoice in the fact that generations of monks swore off wealth, wenching, and whacking-off to deliver you one of the finest beers on the planet.

-Major Microbrew