Part I of a series: a review of a beer from all six major breweries in Munich!

Ladies and gentlemen: I am not reviewing a beer, as much as I am an experience.

Let’s start with the beer.

Hofbrau München Lager is a full-bodied Bavarian Lager. Decently, but not over-poweringly hopped, it’s a fine amber beverage. Below there is a YouTube video of a gentleman chugging the dreaded Dunkles version of the beverage. The full-bodied flavor goes well with screaming chugging songs, daring each other to have just one more. Normally, this beer can only be had in the one-size-fits-all version called the Maß, which is German for “you will regret this tomorrow.” It truly is a great beer to have when you are drinking it by the liter. Yeah, four of these is a gallon. That’s a lot to pee out later, but it will probably be the best pee you ever had. Do read on!

The Hofbräuhaus is a beer hall and brewery in the old part of Munich, and is almost certainly the happeist place on earth, period. A cacophony awaits you, consisting of no more that discordant German songs, deafening soccer chants, earth-shattering belches, and Americans screaming “I can’t remember how much I have had!” One of the largest beer halls in the world, this place has seating for over 2000, but–it is often full, well, pretty much every day. Summer is one of the worst times to come as it is a huge tourist trap.

Some highlights you may see if you visit:

• Remarkably pissed-off waiters who screw up your order.
• The best chicken you will ever eat, period.
• Pretzels which will may Dr. Atkins roll in his grave.
• A band which never tires of playing the same song over and over again.
• Beautiful, lithe blond women gracefully delivering twelve liters of beer at a time.
• Drunk Americans making woefully inappropriate WWII jokes, then getting beat up.
• Posters to this site, totally schnockered, trying to clean up a terrible mess in the bathroom.

Enjoy this video of some brave soul - total stranger. YouTube is the best.