As my faithful fans will no doubt recognize, this is my first post. As I therefore have no faithful fan base to call upon, I will now move right on to a bit of personal background. If you just want to hear about the damn beer skip the next two paragraphs.

As the third ranking officer in the Hall (below the General and Admiral and tied with the Captain–if he’s in the navy… if he’s a captain in any other armed service then I need him to get me some coffee and a… nevermind), I have chosen to focus my attention on a relatively high-brow niche of the beer market. By high-brow I mean, of course, expensive. But as you may have learned, grasshopper, some pleasures in life are worth paying a little extra for. Still talking about beer, stay with me.

Kolonel is, of course, Dutch for Colonel. Gotta love those Dutch… dare to be different. Tripel refers to the type of beer I will generally review. Tripel, or Trippel, or Triple for you non-clog-wearing types, normally refers to beer that has been fermented three times, or else has a comparable alohol content. 8-10% in most cases. Tripels use in-bottle fermentation to complete the beerification process, leading to a rich, complex, cloudy final product. Many come from the select Trappist monasteries (6 in Belgium and one in The Netherlands), but you can find some excellent Tripel brews elsewhere. Not every review will be a true-to-form Tripel, as that would be restrictive, but most will cover foreign products. Yes I love America. And I still love technology. But if you want a great Tripel, you gotta look to the imports. For example…

Don de Dieu is the first beer I will discuss from the outstanding folks at Unibroue, based in Quebec (http://www.unibroue.com). Yes folks, the Kolonel begins his exploration of Tripels in… French Canadia. Well, if you think that is odd then you likely have never tasted a Unibroue brew. You got to get on that. As I climb the beeramid toward its eventual summit (Mount Chimay), expect to hear a lot about the various concoctions of joy this company has… concocted. A word of caution before we get to the details–many of the Unibroue varietals are normally available only in 750ml. At 9% alcohol on average, that’s a pretty good start to the evening if you pound the whole thing (which had better be the plan). Of course, at $6-10 per bottle, one should be savoring it more than a typical, say, 6-pack of the Beast. Take your time and enjoy the experience, start to finish.

Store Don de Dieu upright in the fridge. It should be served slightly chilled but not ice-cold (like Miller Chill) in order to release its complexity. Use a wide-mouthed chalice glass and make sure not to touch the glass to the bottle or already-poured beer as you serve it (if you drink this straight out of the bottle you are a complete dummy). The beer is bright gold in color, and very opaque. A relatively weak head does not detract from the fresh wheat and ripe fruit aromas that immediately engage the senses. Taking a first sip, you will immediately identify the flavor of granny smith apples, which quickly mellows into a sweet wheaty and slightly nutty taste, like the fresh bread you get out of one of those do-it-yourself breadmakers, you know, the two times you used the one the what’s-their-faces gave us. The finish is surprisingly clean, with most of the flavor evaporating after 10-15 seconds. Which is about how long you can stand waiting to take another… bigger… draft. All in all a great choice for any season, though I envision a crisp spring afternoon as the perfect setting. Not this damn 115-degree Vegas heat. “Yeah man, but it’s a dry heat!” Shut up, Hudson.