G’day, comrades. That’s how they say “hi there” in what was once the proud U.S.S.R. and is now the proud and fully democratic and egalitarian Russia. As this is a beer site and not a place for politicos, I’ll ease off and stick with the “porfft.”*

Baltika has been brewing since 1990 and exporting since 1999. See? Communism moves out, beer moves in. A perfect cycle that should arm proponents of ID** a ‘lil bit. Morons. Anyway, Baltika is now owned jointly by Carlsburg and Scottish & Newcastle, but they still do most of their brewing in Russia or nearby former Soviet states. And while I think I’ve had one or two their lighter braus before, and was left with no distinct impression (i.e. I was Trotskyed) this, their #6 Porter, was damn good. Read on, glavnik!

Baltika’s beers are each numbered, the non-alcoholic (pronounced “pointless”) release is fittingly zero, and they ascend up to 10. But it looked like they have more, non-numerical beers. And while at first it seemed that the higher the number, the higher the A.B.V., which would have been sweet, actually not the case. Anyway, this porter has got all the right moves.

It smells great–roasty and malty, sweet and seductive. The taste? Well, let’s just say that its aroma was less deceitful than certain Premiers I could name. Which is a stilted way of saying it’s great. A dark chocolate, faint coffee, burnt bread taste. The mouthfeel was a bit heavier than I’m used to in a porter… almost like a stout but, y’know, not quite.

As the beer warmed and the carbonation was reduced, the maltiness became even sweeter and more complex. The 7% A.B.V. added a nice, mild edge to the flavor, but was by no means over-assertive. Say, what’s the deal with porters anyway? (That last line was said in your voice. Or rather my voice doing a derisive, high-pitched aping of your thin, reedy voice.)

PORTER: A TALE OF… Porters were first brewed in the early 18th century in England (such beer pioneers!). It was very likely the result of attempted replication of a sort of “hybrid beer” that was popular at the time, created by mixing two or more lighter ales and darker stouts in the same glass. Soon, brewers were creating a similar beer intentionally. One of the many tomes I have about beer says that the name “porter” may have been adopted due to train porters affinity for the beer. Sounds a but thin to the Captain, but hey, who cares!? Porters are great beers and they’re often overlooked. In fact, I challenge you to ask 5 random people what “porter” is–just like that, just say “what’s porter”–and I bet most of them will just stare blankly, longing to hold you. Weird… I’m out!

*Russian, for the exact same sound, “porfft,” but said by a Russian guy.

**yes… Intelligent Design… I seethe, full of rage and cornflakes.