Ah, those Belgians. They just couldn’t let a thing like beer stay with the common folk, could they? They just couldn’t keep things ordinary, even banal, when it came to precious beer. Enter a true champagne of beers: Malheur Biére Brut Reserve!

So it’s important for us common folk, this Sergeant included, to imbibe in a true treasure now and again. The Sarge and his fire team took on an urban mission near the dangerous sector of…Alfred and Santa Monica. The breeching team had no idea what lay beyond that door, but this Sarge never expected the fancy likes of Malheur Brut! Try to imagine a Belgian Ale so sugary it foams like champagne, yet so rich it doesn’t have that tang and kick like barley wine. A heavy bottle topped with golden foil, this thing looked almost too fancy for this man’s Beer Brigade. With a pop that reminded the Sarge of artillery, the bastard was open. The pantywaists around the table shook with fear, but I grabbed a goblet and let a frothy torrent run free. It almost does taste like Champagne. It has a strange, sweet aroma which almost bubbles into your nose. It’s got a thick golden color, and of course this ‘Biére’ has to be served ice-chilled lest you want a court-martial. In fact, this Sergeant was noticing a good hoppy flavor go away as the thing got warmer, so drink it fast and chilled, or y’know, drink it outside in a snowstorm. In any case, it’s a delicate beer, it’s pricey at $25 a bottle, and it’s finicky when it comes to preserving the consistency of the flavor. If you can take all that, give it a shot.