Perhaps we’ve all come too far too fast, boys. As I gathered round the table with the Sargent and Kolonel last weekend, I came to an unsettling realization. It has been maybe 5, 6 batches since I brewed a simple beer without going all wonky on the recipe. And frankly, 2 of those batches came out all wrong. 1 was passing. 2 were damn good.

I think it may be time for the captain to ease back a bit…For the next 2 or 3 batches, I think I’m going to brew a brown ale, dammit. Or maybe a light porter but whatever it is, 2 batches, same ingredients, same boil times, etc etc. Then, once they both turn out just great (which they will) I’ll brew a third… this time, going apeshit on the recipe. If that turns out well, well then dammit, we patent. And then kick back smoking Dominican cigars and sipping moderately priced port—er, beer.