We're still here, people... if you are. This Captain still drinks beer and thinks beer all the time. If you're out there, beer readers... if you want us back here... oh, it shall be so.

Ohmigod... oh baby.... So we brewed a stout over at (hey!) Sgt. Stout's house 2 weekend's back and I bottled the sumbitch on Sunday. It's going to be a life-affirming beer, I'm telling you. Kahlua infused coffee beans, darkass malts---this brew smells amazing, and is the color of motor oil. I'm sure there's no way I'll be able to resist cracking one early this weekend, and I'll give a full report when it has been conditioned for 3 weeks or a month or so. Awwwww yeah.

You know what? Screw it---this diagram made me proud as hell. Proud because, given the right circumstances, I would do serious damage to a 12 pack of Schlitz, but on any given day, this is about right: http://www.sloshspot.com/blog/12-22-2008/How-to-Know-If-You-Are-a-Beer-Snob-92

Friends, once again the illustrious team brew team of yours truly and Sergeant Stout teamed up 3 weeks back and brewed up a storm. Or rather two batches of beer. Then last weekend we bottled them... and something wonderful happened... both of our beers... while flat, tepid and not even done with their development (2 weeks minimum of course but I think these babies will be shining come February or so) both beers tasted amazing. I'll get more into it when we give the bottle-conditioned beers a taste (which I may do prematurely this weekend...), but here's a primer: The Sarge brewed what I guess I'll call a Holiday Ale if I must classify it. The beer is spicy, rich and bursting with a crisp tartness supplied by copius additions of fresh and dried cranberries. A lovely amber hue. My beer is a Scotch Ale and, if I may be so bold, manages to both cleave faithfully to its style while boasting notes of honey, spice and a secret hobo twist I'll never reveal. Oh... OK... the secret ingredient is... is... RIGHT BEHIND YOU! AAUUGH!!!!! GLAUAWAUGH!!!!! *Except that "you" means "me."

Last weekend, friends, Brigadier Bock and Admiral Ale gathered around the Sarge and the Captain's brew pots and we four whipped up two beautiful batches of brew! A spiced holiday ale for Sergeant Stout, a Scotch Ale for me. And, of course, we went apeshnit with the recipes, Sgt. Stout adding fresh cranberries, cinnamon sticks and all sorts of spices. I added honey, LOTS of hops and some secret spices of my own. So stand by, friends! I shall report in when we rack to the secondary fermenter next weekend and then at the bottling and then... the drink! *this is true assuming you are me, Sergeant Stout, Brigadier Bock or Admiral Ale. The rest of you can go home now.

...but I've been drinking a lot of homebrew recently so there have been fewer posts. Your Captain regrets this. He loves you all and hopes you can be briefly held over with this wonderful shot of the Cap'n and Lieutenant Lager doing what we do best*. I'll be in the mountains this weekend and am sure to find some lovely new beers. ---Captain Beer *DAMMIT! It's not uploading. I'll deal with this from a differnt computer. Oh yes... I'll deal with this...

IT WAS A DRINKY OLD TIME, FRIENDS! Fine beer, fine food and fine friends. And then more beer. Folks gathered at our house around half past twelve and we set out on the (slightly longer than I had said it was) walk to the lovely Red Carpet Liquors. There we came upon several tents, tables laden with krauts---er, kraut---and brauts and potatoes and... why... there was another tent... a tent where upwards of 15 kinds of BEER were available!

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Friends, tomorrow ten or twelve of us descend on the venerable Red Carpet Liquors for a German Oktoberfest beer party that may well have an attendance of over 150 beer loving people. Holy Schiesse friends... photos soon to follow...

Well just when I was getting down on my fancy beer brewing... the very same day, in fact... Samuel Adams gave me a shot in the arm! Why, just take a look! That's right! Captain and Mrs. Beer's Maple Porter received a score of "very good" from the professional panel of tasters from the Sam Adams Longshot homebrew contest! Not only that but as you'll see below, one of our judges indicated they would "pay money for this beer" which is rockin! I think. Look I'm struggling with humility here.  I  swear I'm awesome trying. Anyway...

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Perhaps we've all come too far too fast, boys. As I gathered round the table with the Sargent and Kolonel last weekend, I came to an unsettling realization. It has been maybe 5, 6 batches since I brewed a simple beer without going all wonky on the recipe. And frankly, 2 of those batches came out all wrong. 1 was passing. 2 were damn good. I think it may be time for the captain to ease back a bit...

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